you all choose baathist men. typical arab mentality.
First of all, not all of the candidates discussed in this thread are Baathists (well, not that I know of). Second of all, so what if they were? If they were criminals, they would have either been hanged or they would have been hiding by now. Thirdly, its not Arab mentality. The Baathists killed hundreds (if not tens) of thousands of Arabs. Not all members of the Baath Party were Arab. It's time you put an end to this Arab-Baathist link.
Find me a few alternatives then, and dont say Talabani or Barzani. I mean other and real alternatives.
OK tigris, just for fun, lets build a government cabinet out of all the members that regularly post regularly on iraq4you. Who are your nominations?
LOB. Well, I would say: PM role: it can go to you or Harry. The post must go to a secular nationalist. Presidency: can go to either you or Harry (whoever doesnt take the PM job). Defence Minister post: will go to me (as I have a good plan to keep militias out of the army). Foreign ministry: can go to Calm. Ministry of Religious & Tribal Affairs: can also go to Calm given his book is along those lines. Ministry of Information: can go to Sadiq2006. Al Sahhaf will be missed but I am sure Sadiq will do well. Interior Ministry: Can go to Admin, as that post needs someone with a low profile and working behind the scenes. Oil Ministry: can go to Baghdadi (he sounds like a nationalist and that post needs one) Finance Ministry: Saifali (again, a true nationalist needs one) Ministry of Woman Affairs & Rights: Yellowsunshine (but need to give her Iraqi citizenship). Not a problem given Iraq is the 60th state now. PM of Iraqi Kurdistan: Soran J (so that he can mess up, declare war as he always does and get invaded by Turkey and my army and then we can take over the north again and dissolve their parliment and bring them back to the central government and to reality).
Long live the new government. . I hope i havent missed anyone out. Throw in any ideas and objections. I think the next step is that we are supposed to fight over the posts and who gets what and how much of the profits we get.
Prime Minister: Harry Presidency: post remains vacant until we get an intelligent Kurd on Iraq4you Minister of miss-information: Sadiq2006 (he'll tie the press in knots) Minister of Defence: You (I want to see this plan) Minister of Culture: Calm (the man's a writer for god's sake) Minister of Oil: Iraqi100percent (the name says it all) Minister of Health: Saifali (must be Shia) Ministry of Interior: Admin Minister of Education: the mysterious Online Articles Minister of Woman’s affairs: YelowSunshine (we can buy her a passport from the black market for $500) Minister of Sport: IRAQIFORSOCCER (enough said) Minister of Entertainment: Soranj (always good for a laugh) Mayor of Baghdad: Baghdadi (for obvious reasons)
And finally Minister of Alcoholic beverages: Me!
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"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" - Nelson Mandela
LOB, thats a great list. I like!!. Sorry I missed out a few members like Iraqi100% & Iraqiforsoccer, etc.
I like the Ministry of Alchoholic Beverages! We need to re-open those beer & Arek (Ouzo) factories. We also need to start producing & exporting wine!
About my Defence Ministry plan to clean the Iraqi army, here's what I would do:
I would create chaos in Iran, or encourage war between Iran & the US army.. When that happens, most of the Iranian-backed militias will head to Iran to fight and finally leave Iraq.
I would do the same in the north with the Peshmerga & PKK and Turkish army. The Peshmerga make up the remainder of the Iraqi army, so their disappearence and deafeat will be a bonus to the goal of getting rid of militias.
I would recruit a new round of soldiers. I will make sure that their backgrounds are checked. Anyone who has a picture of Al Hussein, Al Sadr, Al Hakim, Khomeini, Saddam, Barzani, etc, will not be accepted as I want to make the army as secular as possible. I will conduct pre-dawn raids on the residences of those recruits to verfy their neutrality.
I would re-establish the Republican Guard, as it was a feared name at its time and the military has to be feared otherwise they will not succeed and neither will security anywhere in the country. The name 'National Guard' or 'Iraqi Civil Defence Forces' is a joke.
I will make sure that all religious and ethnic groups will be represented in the army and particularly in filling the Generals positions and other high ranks.
I will re-build the military intelligence and ensure that there will be no military coups, etc. I will make sure that every soldier spys on the other, that way they will no where their loyalty lies. Harry and the government must be protected afterall. .
I will make every soldier swear in the name of God and in the names of his loved ones (and have this in writting and signature too) that they will obey and ptotect a united Iraq and all its citizens, from the Turkish border to the Kuwaiti border. Also, to sear that they wont support federalism and the break-up of the country and suppirting militias.
This arak you lot are drinking must be 100% alcohol, god I didn't know you started a revolution here, and why wasn't I informed.
I only have to issue fatwa for all melitia to kill themselves and head to heaven, a million virgins are waiting.
Do you think we can manufacture whisky in Iraq? and challange the scots, well the Japanies tried, and it tasted like pee water. yuk...sure we have som many experts, Azi we need you.
Welcome to the revolution, which i think can be code-named the revolution of 'Pink November' :-)
I think it will be a great idea to try to start a whisky industry in Iraq. You never know, we may match the Scots. We need to re-open the arek factories too. I heard that alot of them are in Diyala.
I like the idea of issuing a fatwa for the militias. We can get a Bin-laden and a Sistani and Sadr look-alikes and make some audio and graphical affects to make it seem more real and get them to issue a suicidal fatwa (but somewhere in the desert far from everyone or in Iran).
Where would you like your first iron or bronze statue to stand?
Dear PM Harry. As your most important cabinet member I would like to enquire where should I build the first pub? .......signed, the new Minister of Alchoholic BEverages.
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"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" - Nelson Mandela
Oi not so quick, you can start small first and get bigger afterward. I have a big garden, you can have half of fit for free, at least i can keep an eye on the pub at night after closing time, thats if we ever close at night. What do you say? I even welcome everyone with a smile on my face.
Though I don't know who's running, I think the best candidate would be somebody who can nationalize the Iraqi oil industry, repeal the pro-American policies that have been enacted since 2003, and establish strong trading partnerships with China and Iraqi neighbours. They should also be socially progressive. Just a thought.
Though I don't know who's running, I think the best candidate would be somebody who can nationalize the Iraqi oil industry, repeal the pro-American policies that have been enacted since 2003, and establish strong trading partnerships with China and Iraqi neighbours. They should also be socially progressive. Just a thought.
Sounds like a plan to me. Welcome to the forum bro.
_____________________________
"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" - Nelson Mandela
Dear PM Harry. As your most important cabinet member I would like to inquire where should I build the first pub? .......signed, the new Minister of Alcoholic Beverages.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Calm
Oi not so quick, you can start small first and get bigger afterward. I have a big garden, you can have half of fit for free, at least i can keep an eye on the pub at night after closing time, thats if we ever close at night. What do you say? I even welcome everyone with a smile on my face.
11th Nov 2007
To the Right Honorable PM Harry Papazian Esq. The Green Zone Baghdad, Iraq
Dear Sir,
As your most important cabinet member I would like to inquire as to why the right Honorable Minister for Culture feels it necessary to stick his nose into affairs that don't concern him? Here I am with Millions of dollars in funds, hoping to build an empire of pubs starting with turning the Rashid hotel into a huge themed boozer and he's talking about leasing his back garden?
Would the right honorable PM please remind Minister Calm that in order to be a true Iraqi member of Parliament he will have to on a grander scale. With your kind permission, I would also lie to propose turning the new American Embassy into the largest Arak and Farida beer factory in the world. Kindly send me a check in the order of $600 million so that I can direct my Asriya Militia to begin work on the structure at the earliest so that the factory can start producing the Amber Nectar by early next summer.
Yours Sincerely, signed, LOB Minister of Alcoholic Beverages.
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"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" - Nelson Mandela
As you can see from the report below, things have improved since I recently took office!
quote:
BAGHDAD, IRAQ — It's Thursday night, the end of the Iraqi workweek, and Fami Ameen is scrambling in his crowded Assassin's Gate liquor store as customers clamor for everything from beer and whiskey to ouzo and arak, the popular local alcohol. Call Ameen an unexpected beneficiary of the "surge."
For decades, Iraq had a reputation as a modern, secular society that liked to drink and knew how to party, from wild hotel discotheques to genteel members-only social clubs. But after the fall of Saddam Hussein, extremists unleashed waves of firebombings against liquor stores, even killing owners, because alcohol is forbidden under Islamic law. Just a year ago, Iraqis' taste for alcohol, and the businesses that sated it, were written off as a casualty of the country's new Islam-dominated order.
But violence in Baghdad has dropped in recent months under the U.S. military's security crackdown. With new shops like Ameen's opening in secured areas near fortified Western military outposts, some retailers even say their sales have declined, because they now have so much competition. In one dubious measure of the progress, they say their biggest fear is no longer the militias that targeted them for religious reasons, but the criminal gangs that would kidnap them for their revived fortunes. Ameen, 27, a burly man with a big mustache, recalls arriving at his old liquor store in east Baghdad one morning three years ago, only to discover it was gone. "It was blown to smithereens, just like that," he said.
He had a second shop in the mostly Shiite district of Karada but closed it out of fear it would suffer the same fate. He then moved his businesses to the Assassin's Gate, an ornate sandstone arch just outside the entrance to the heavily fortified Green Zone. Two months ago, he consolidated into a larger space across the street. Some tipplers are particularly happy that the dry spell might be over.
A 47-year-old construction worker and Sadr City resident, who agreed to be interviewed on the condition he not be named, told of how he was beaten last year by the Mahdi Army, the militia loyal to Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, after his brother complained to the militia about his drinking. Now that the Iraqi army has supplanted the Mahdi fighters, he said, he no longer has to hide his liquor under his car seat when driving into his neighborhood.
"The situation is now better than before. I carry the alcohol in a black plastic bag, and no one cares what I have in the plastic bag," he said. "I always drink, even at my work, at home at night, and even in the morning. I will never stop until the Judgment Day."
A 47-year-old construction worker and Sadr City resident, who agreed to be interviewed on the condition he not be named, told of how he was beaten last year by the Mahdi Army, the militia loyal to Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, after his brother complained to the militia about his drinking. Now that the Iraqi army has supplanted the Mahdi fighters, he said, he no longer has to hide his liquor under his car seat when driving into his neighborhood.
"The situation is now better than before. I carry the alcohol in a black plastic bag, and no one cares what I have in the plastic bag," he said. "I always drink, even at my work, at home at night, and even in the morning. I will never stop until the Judgment Day."
I'd like to nominate this guy as the deputy Minister of Alcoholic Beverages.
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"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" - Nelson Mandela
I have ordered that your statues will be built around every city in the country. I have ensure that the statues will suit loca lstandards, so I ensured that your statues in Dohok, Arbil, & Sulaymaniya will have the baggy trousers and Kurdish headgear and that your statues in Najaf, Karbala, Nasriya, Amarah, and parts of Basra will have you wearing an ammameh on your head and an Iranian robe and the ones in Anbar, Diyala, Salahadeen, etc with an Arab headgear, but dont worry, gradually we take them off and replace them with normal suits and military uniform as part of our secular rehabilitation program. Your statue in Baghdad will be made of gold and will be in Firdos Square, wearing your Georgio Armani suit.
I am running low on the budget as I have looted (sorry I meant spent) the cash. You know how it is, high petrol and material and advertising costs. I will therfore need another $3 billion to complete the project and I will assure you that any leftover money will go to our pockets (sorry, I meant charity!).
Yours Truely,
Minister of Defence & Head of the Statue Building Committee.
LOB, I support the nomination of that brave consumer of alchohol to be your deputy.
Long live our liquor stores & bars & nightclubs...
Oh, and I was thinking that we may need a political party or ministry to support the Kawleeya, as their rights of existence have alse been affecdted by the religious fanatics and bad situation. Most of them are now in the Gulf entertaining the khaleejies and sheikhs when they should be back home. There is nothing better than arek, mezeh, and kawleeyt in the background. We will raise this issue with his excellency the PM in our next cabinet meeting which I think will be after the summer vacations/holidays of 2008 .
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Lion of Babylon Dear PM Harry. As your most important cabinet member I would like to enquire where should I build the first pub? .......signed, the new Minister of Alchoholic BEverages.
To the newly elected Minister of Alcoholic Beverages: The best place to start yourendeavor is at the gates of the green zone. The Americans are dying for a good shot of alcohol to get them in touch with reality, not to mention all those Iraqis who are being protected by them.
LOB, I support the nomination of that brave consumer of alchohol to be your deputy.
Long live our liquor stores & bars & nightclubs...
Oh, and I was thinking that we may need a political party or ministry to support the Kawleeya, as their rights of existence have alse been affecdted by the religious fanatics and bad situation. Most of them are now in the Gulf entertaining the khaleejies and sheikhs when they should be back home. There is nothing better than arek, mezeh, and kawleeyt in the background. We will raise this issue with his excellency the PM in our next cabinet meeting which I think will be after the summer vacations/holidays of 2008 .
Dude, now you’re talking my kind of language. Here’s how things have developed since my last post. After obtaining the necessary permission and finance from our good Prime Minister, I and my loyal Asriya Militia have taken over the Rashid hotel and began work on the restructuring and interior design. After appointing the new deputy Minister, my first port of call was to take on two experienced foreign advisors to guide us through the process. For this purpose I approached the Irish and German Embassies in Amman for suggestions and they have kindly nominated their candidates, Mr. Paddy O’Malley and Mr. Gunter Kinsman. We have decided to graciously accept their kind offer and have asked the right honorable gentlemen to begin drawing up a work plan immediately. I’m sure you’ll agree that no one is better at producing and drinking alcohol than these two fine countries.
Once work of the bars is complete we can begin marketing the bar to the local neighborhood and online. Bring in unique music and other things that appeal to an upscale audience. We will offer 2 drinks for the price of one and 6 hour long happy hours to encourage the general populace to relax and let their hair down. Special prices will be offered for reformed fake Mullahs and their flock of sheep with a free shot of tequila going to the quickest turban removal of the night. We will also have Kawlia night twice a week. All Kawliya’s get free drinks on the house, all night.
Once we have Baghdad drinking again we will franchise out and start offering liquor licenses at a low cost. We need have as many bars as possible open in Baghdad to counteract the past 4 years of home life and drudgery. Its time to get busy cos Baghdad’s gonna wanna party.
I’ll leave you with this fine quote:
"I always drink, even at my work, at home at night, and even in the morning. I will never stop until the Judgment Day." New deputy Minister of Alcoholic Beverages
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"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" - Nelson Mandela
ORIGINAL: Harry No statues please, I don't want to be a rest stop for pigeons.
My dear PM, not to worry. I have arranged for each statue to be guarded by at least 4 soldiers. One to make sure that no one throws eggs or stones or fires shots on the statue, one to ensure that no one tries to streal the statue or parts of it (the need for metal parts is high, not to mention the gold statue in Firdos Square), one to ensure that no rioters or demonstrators or members of the opposition come less than 20 metres from the statue, and the other to ensure that pigeons dont rest on the statue or release their crap there. Anyone who disobeys the above will be shot, including the pigeons.
"However, the problem is that the current Iraqi sectarian constitution or system would not allow him to be PM because he is a Sunni Arab. Currently, the PM has to be a Shia and the president has to be a Kurd, and parliament speaker a Sunni Arab. Every post is reserved for a particular ethnic or religious group (similar to Lebanon), which makes me sick and thats why Iraq is going backwards rather than forwards. " above quote from Tigris
this to me sounds like a total farce and extremely disorganized. it obviously would eliminate many of the best ones for "the job". I should certainly think some new organization is in order.
Now for some serious talk here. I nominate sadiq for PM. or harry since he appears to be used to bossing others around , or tigris as he is always a gentleman and runs in to save harry when he is drowning, or calm if he lives up to his name, or LOB as he is not afraid to say pretty much anything, it appears that soranj wouldn't get the popular vote.
so i guess bottom line, too much competition above, it would just plain have to be me, takes a woman to do a mans job properly anyway. simple
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"In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." George Orwell
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RE: Who is Iraq's best candidate for PM? - 
Now for some serious talk here. I nominate sadiq for PM. or harry since he appears to be used to bossing others around 
, or tigris as he is always a gentleman and runs in to save harry when he is drowning, or calm if he lives up to his name, or LOB as he is not afraid to say pretty much anything, it appears that soranj wouldn't get the popular vote. 
RE: Who is Iraq's best candidate for PM? - 
For crying out loud... i posted above prior to even reading this second page, figures, now i have to run and no time to read all the fun! 
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